Struggling

-

82966173 © creativecommonsstockphotos | Dreamstime.com

Just a couple of weeks ago I was feeling hopeful and wanting to write, but my depression is back and I am struggling to make it through each day without alcohol. The alcohol withdrawal is part of my depression, but things going on in my home life are part of the problem too. I'm not going to into details about that because they are just too depressing to talk about. 

I've been struggling with alcoholism for several years. It's a disease that runs in my family and I always feared that I would suffer from it. I fought it for a long time when I was younger, but as depression and dealing with teenagers doing bad things over took my life, I went to alcohol for relief. 

I'm going to start seeing my therapist again next week and hopefully she can help me get out of the funk that I'm in. I used to see her earlier in the year and she was wonderful. She helped me get to a happy place and hopefully she can help me find it again. 

As a result of my struggles with depression and life, I 've decided to give up on the College Hill series. It's not selling well and no one is reading the Kindle Vella episodes, so I'm going to let that go. I've really been struggling to write it and I just don't feel like I want to continue with the story. 

I am going to work on Ridgway Moon, but it will not be on Kindle Vella, and it will probably not end up being a romance. 

I tried to start a new story, but it crashed and burned before it even got going and I know it's because I'm struggling so much with my day to day life. I'm not saying I'm going to stop writing, but I going to stop trying to force myself to produce what I think everyone wants me to write. I'm going to just let my words flow and see where they go. 


 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Where Does The Time Go

-
Image
Being Super Busy I started writing this blog post on July 19th, and here it is September, and I'm just now getting back to finish it. I'm changing things because the original information is outdated.  I spent the summer working on my new young adult lesbian romance, working, and trying to spend time with my grandkids. I have three grandsons who live in Colorado, so I only get to see them during the summer. This summer was so crazy that I didn't get to spend much time with them, which sucks, but it's the way things go sometimes.  The grandkids my partner, Rosa and I are raising are back in school and doing lots of school stuff. My oldest grandson, Jacob, turned 15 this summer. I can't believe it. He's almost 6 feet tall and in marching band. My oldest granddaughter, Jazmyn, is 13 going on 23. Just praying all of us survive her being a teenager. My other grandson, Julian, that Rosa and I are raising is 6, and we are homeschooling him. Socializatio
Read more

It's NaNoWriMo Season

-
Image
Today is the beginning of NaNoWriMo 2023, and I've decided to work on a new YA romance this year. It has been almost two years since I published a new book! I can't believe how time has gotten away from me, but I've started about five new projects in this time period, so my goal for 2024 is to finish at least three of them, including the YA romance I'm about to start.  I had been torn about finishing a book I started during Camp NaNoWriMo in April or starting a new story. The story I started in April may not have 50,000 words left, but if I finish it next month, I can get it out to readers before the end of the year. Yes, I realize that is an overly ambitious goal, and that's why I decided to work on a new story for NaNoWriMo and start editing the book I started in April.  Yesterday was Halloween, and it was my partner's birthday. She turned 65 yesterday, and I adore her. This year has been a wild ride, and I'm learning to handle the ups and downs better. T
Read more

Change

-
Image
  114341264   ©   Andranik Hakobyan   |   Dreamstime.com Welcome to a new year, my friends. I am very happy to see 2023 in the rearview mirror. 2023 was a lot of things for me. I learned a lot about myself, and I'm not happy with who I have become. I have become a very unhappy and angry person. Part of that is because I feel that my life has been spiraling out of my control for a long time. Taking control meant making major changes that I have been afraid of making. But sometimes, you have to make painful changes for your mental health and happiness, and that's what I'm doing.  I dug out my Melissa Etheridge CD Your Little Secret  , and I've been listening to four of the songs from it on replay for the past few weeks. Those songs are: I Could Have Been You, Shriner's Park, Change, and  This War Is Over.  Change , in particular, speaks very strongly of where my life is right now. The lyrics that strike me the hardest are: "And so it goes, this, too, shall pass a
Read more