Sunday, January 19, 2020

Consistently Inconsistent


Holding Head Pain Woman - 3D illustration - csp44592114


If there's one thing I can say honestly about myself, it's that I'm consistently inconsistent partially because my life is always in a state of uproar. If you've been following me for any length of time, you know that my partner, Rosa and I are raising three of my grandchildren.

We have a 15-year-old boy, Jacob, who is a pretty good kid. He's in band and JROTC. He's spoiled and a bit bossy, but other than that, a pretty good kid.

We have a 13-year-old girl, Jazmyn, who is turning out to be a lot like her mother, and that's not a good thing. We're continually having to worry about her getting into trouble at school and with boys. The sad thing is that she had the potential to be a good kid, but has chosen to follow a harder path.

And then we have Julian. He's six, and he's really good at it. For the most part, he's a really good boy. We've chosen to homeschool him based on all the bad things we've gone through with our local school system and the other kids. Plus, Julian is very hyperactive, and I'm afraid he'd be grouped with other kids that are considered special needs. Not that there's anything wrong with special needs kids, it's the way this school system deals with them that is the problem.

Anyway, this is just part of our life.

On top of dealing with the kids, which Rose has taken over since she's been retired, I work at a public library. Now, most people would think that would be the perfect job for a writer, and there was a time when that would have been true. Not today, not at our library. I work in the reference department where I spend 30 percent of my time helping patrons, and 70 percent babysitting adults who often don't know how to follow the rules, which is probably why the majority of them are homeless.

This problem is taking a toll on my nerves, which is affecting my writing and my home life. The daily fear of what might happen when I go to work is keeping me on edge. Most of the homeless population we have is okay people just going through a rough patch. The others are mostly drug addicts and drunks that think they can come to the library and sleep until the homeless shelter opens for the evening. Or, they are dealing their wares, assuming we don't know what they are doing. Unfortunately, without proof of what they are doing, there's nothing we can really do to stop them as long as they don't break the other library rules.

For several months now, I've been having a hard time concentrating and suffering from severe stress headaches. It's affected my ability to work on my writing. There's very little downtime for me to relax and focus on my craft.

Rose and I decided to buy a camper that will hopefully allow me to have the time I need to focus on my writing. A place where I can shut out the world for a little while and create new lesbian romances that my fans will love.

I want to thank everyone who has been patiently waiting for my next book. I'm in the last editing phases, and if the writing gods are willing, it will be out next month. And thanks for letting me have a little rant on here. I've been frustrated with the direction of my life and my inability to get any writing done. Hopefully, that is all going to change starting next month after we get the camper. My new home away from home.

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