Searching and maybe finding a clue.

 

I can’t seem to get myself back into a writing groove, and I don’t know why. I have tons of story ideas, but I can’t seem to get my butt in the seat in front of the computer long enough to write anything. This is really bothering me because I love to write, but something is blocking me.

I get a motivational newsletter from Jay Shetty every day. I learned about him through Mel Robbins’ podcast. A recent newsletter he sent out included the prompt: How can I create a consistent way to complete tasks I don’t feel motivated to do?

This leads to a link to an AI chat with Jay Shetty, where you get about 100 words worth of questions before it moves you to the full-access that you have to pay for. And I’m not buying. But in this newsletter, he suggested trying something for just five minutes. He also suggested checking out Mel Robbins’ book, The 5-Second Rule. I haven’t read this book yet, but five minutes should be easy to manage. Right?

I have listened to Mel Robbins’ book, The Let Them Theory, and put it into play in my life. I even got a tattoo to remind me to use the “Let Them” theory when people are doing things I don’t agree with

.

Oh, my God! I was listening to a summary of the 5-Second Rule while I was writing this post, and I think it revealed my problem. In the book, Mel suggests I’m afraid of not being able to compete with my past books, especially Suddenly, which is still my best seller. I’m also afraid of how much competition there is out there in the lesbian fiction realm. I definitely think my fear is part of my writing block.

But, in the middle of my writing this, my lovely friend, Greyer Jane, a.k.a. Patty Teague, was here and did a Tarot reading for me. And what the cards revealed explained a lot. Basically, they said that I’m in a pressure cooker with people constantly turning the pressure up and trying to get more and more from me. Patty was very concerned about the fact that there were 5 Major Arcana cards and six cards in reverse. As scary as this sounds, it let me know that I’m not losing my mind. There really are forces working to block my progress. So you all, please pray that I keep my shit together. Patty has done several readings for me and they have always been extremely accurate.

I’m almost 20 months sober, and my cravings for alcohol have been particularly strong lately, but I have persevered. But what the cards revealed explains part of the reason for the craving. Something and/or someone is trying to push me back into my old patterns of dealing with pressure, but I’m not going to let them.

Patty suggested I find new ways to let off the steam of the pressure I’m feeling because I can’t write, which was my way of escaping before. I had already been seriously thinking about getting back into hiking. That used to be one of the true loves of my life because I love being in nature. So that’s the plan for right now.

I’m going to start writing at least five minutes a day and hiking at least once a week. Let’s see where that goes. Plus, I need more music in my life. Speaking of that, if you all haven’t listened to Melissa Etheridge’s new album, Rise, I highly recommend you check it out.

I deeply appreciate all my friends and fans who have stayed with me on this crazy journey. I love you all.